"The Whole Ten Yards"

Describing this film would be the intellectuals stupid movie. You may ask if this is even possible. My reply is yes, it is possible. The film is very cleverly written in the sense that the characters are not your predictable cliche even though they are still very stereptypical. Rather the tired cliches are spiced up with a fresh zany zeal. Dressed up those cliches so they can strut right into a five star restrauant and be seated beside the big mob family. The result being a film following the stupid movie formula as "Dude, wheres my car!" and replaced with the language of intellectually witty.

"The Whole Ten Yards"

The best way to describe to this film is by the following; it is the intellectuals stupid movie. Now you may ask is this even possible, and my reply to that is that yes. For the writting in this film is very clever in the sense that the writer and director did not stay with the predictable tired cliched characters and potty humour. Rather they took those tired cliches and spices them up a bit. Dressed up those cliches so they can walk right into a five star restrauant and be seated right beside the big mob family. In other words the result being a film to follow the stupid movie formula as like "Dude, wheres my car!" and replaced the language with very witty and adult lines.

You don't necessarily have to see the first film "the whole nine yards" to get the jokes and enjoy yourself, but the story makes a little bit more sense as the first film took care of the majority of character development, and just how these people ended up friends in the first place. So a deeply rooted plotted where you are left guessing right to the very end, feeling for Matthew Perry's character with his undeniablly huge confusion with the whole ordeal. You feel for him because that confusion in which he feels you as the sudience also feels it also. One moment you think jimmy has had enough and will kill him, and then the next you truly feel he is a committed friend. In other words the film really starts to play games with ones head as you try to figure out what the heck is going on, even though you know you still don't.

I would rate the movie 3 flushes out 5. It wasn't too terribly bad. And Bruce Wilis and Matthew Perry once again proves they can act off each other really well. And so just two see those two in a "buddy picture" of sorts is also worth a laugh. But near the end it was starting to get boring, the same witty intellectual jokes. So 3 flushes out 5 since at times the toliet got plugged.

Still worth a watch espesically in the cheap theater or video/DVD

"Hellboy"

Take a moment to stop, contemplate what a parent goes through, as they step back and let their child start making life decisions on their own. Take a moment to observe the worried look on the very faces of the parents, as they question and yet keep silent the actions of their loved ones. Now for a moment imagine the child according to the world's eyes, a classification label a freak, that instills fear in the very heart of people for their outward appearance. If they take the time and realise his harsh coldness is the combination and realization of never, being like anyone else. And loving the very woman that doesn't want anything to do with him, but having a love so strong he would die for her. Then set this in a pre-apocalypse setting, with a special government agency designed to fight against evil paranormal activity, and you get the movie 'Hellboy'.

Hellboy was most definitly not what I was expecting at all. I was expecting a mindless, dark and yet another comicesque type film. But as I sat in that theater I begun to realize that the action/comic book type of setting was just that the setting. The real movie is about Hellboy's (or later referred to as Red) relationship as a coming too age man. Sure in human years he would be 60, but in his genetic make up it makes him about 20. And so all the angst that the young has with their parents was brillantly protrayed, as Red saw any attempt at help as his "fathers" way of control, which was simply not the case at all. And as well seeing the complicated nature of the relationship with the woman that he loves, with the strong struggle in which he faced to let go and give her the very space in which she needed

And so I would rate the film "Hellboy" 3 flushes out 5 since the relationship wisdom in the film helped make it a good thought provoking and challenging movie. The only flushes (negatives) was cookie cutter comic book style. So 3 flushes out 5 and one is the highest rating.

The Cat in the Hat

In an empty theater
quiet enough to hear a meteor
contemplating art
and whether to publicly fart
I sit in the dark
anticipating for the light to hit the mark

A girlish giggle breaks the silence
as they turn to cell phones for guidance
contemplating technology
and thinking is it human folly

The light fades
and colours of pastel are amazed
with rows tiny houses one by one
placed with immaculate fun
two children bored at the window
and there mother maybe a widow
is off to work
for a boss with hand sanitizing quirk

A cat in a hat
shows up on the welcome mat
with many wise cracks
destroying the house
like a fun but lazy louse
being the physical manifestation
of fun's absolute sensation

The fun becomes a nightmare
when disaster oozes from a red boxed lair
the lock disappearing
from a boys rule breaking
and the house disaster
from a controlling younger sister.

The pursuit of understanding fun
caused everyone to run
as they realize their ways of deviation
followed with active mediation
on how to really have fun

The cat in a hat
that was on the door mat
saddened by there anger
and returns to his hanger
as brother and sister
prepare to have the ugly blister
popped like a geyser

But the cat came back
with help and no slack
he cleaned the house
even the mouse
as the kids learnt a lesson
worthy of a medal of congression

The mother returns
in happy amazement that burns
and a sudden realization
of the boyfriends false accusations
And the moral
is not to eat coral
no
that would be a low
rather fun is good so take a bow
for now you know how

that is the cat in a hat
the story of eccentric cat
a movie well worth to watch
and is not held together with tape of scotch
it gets a worthy two flushes
for such artistic brushes
a fun movie
making fun groovy

two out of five flushes
for the cat in a hat
that arrived on a mat.

The Haunted Mansion

As I sit in a child filled theater, anxiously awaiting a film to flood nostalgic feelings from a childhood family vacation to the magic kingdom. The light begins to dim, and the reels move to release the magical life moments. And as I sit wondering through the halls of the haunted mansion, engulfed with childlike thrills once again...struggling to breathe, and gasp for air. As the air I was breathing was polluted with perfume that someone bathed in. I ignored the fact I could not breathe, to recapture the moment of my youth. And what a moment! I truly felt I was on that haunted mansion ride once again, with my vivid imagination playing out right before my eyes...Once again.

I was quite impressed with Disney's Haunted Mansion...Not because of the thrilling storyline, as it was nothing special and no real plot thickening. But what really impressed me was that they actually captured the excitement and the awe...the whole aesthetically pleasing atmosphere of the ride it's self.

What I thought to be amazing about this movie was the actual experience, the ability to feel you were experiencing this mansion first hand. The fact you were allowed to explore and be free to see everything in mansion, even if you really shouldn't venture into the forbidden corridors.

I would classify this film, not as a film but a worthy addition to the amusement park thrill rides, taking you on an adventure that you soon won't forget. A thrill ride that goes directly to your door. It's a great thrill, might not leave you with any chills but fun none-the-less.

The film gets three flushes, because it was a lot of fun and very nostalgic if you experienced the real ride, but the storyline was very predictable and formulaic. Three flushes out of five.